What? That can’t be right. Who would do such a thing? Women don’t try to gain weight at age 43. I wasn’t even that thin, so why would I want to gain ten pounds? Well, after years of being fit and training a certain way, I found that I wasn’t necessarily seeing what I wanted to see. Being the same weight I was in high school was now making me look a little older than I was comfortable with, and training with the same or more intensity was making me feel older than I thought I should. Having said that, I want to state my belief that aging is a natural process and one that we need not try to stop or be afraid of, but accelerating the process is also not something that is a great idea. Hurting my shoulder was the final indication to me that I need to change my methods, not to mention that I had pain in other areas on a regular basis. I was tired of being sore, tired of expending half of my energy at the gym each morning, and tired of feeling much older than I thought I should.
At about the time I decided to change things up, I was working part-time as a personal trainer, something I always thought I wanted to do. I did enjoy working with my clients and built some new friendships, but I struggled with the idea that predominates in that field, the idea that we’re never good enough. I saw it in almost every client, a lack of love for their bodies as they were. I understand this and have had times in my life when I had what I would consider an exercise obsession (work off everything you eat) and overly strict diet (I’m talking zero fat- very bad). So, I quickly realized that working in the field would not be the best long-term fit for me. I choose not to work in a field that is based largely on superficial results. And yes, there are a lot of internal physical benefits to exercise, and I will continue to offer advice and exercise myself, but being totally immersed in the fitness industry is not for me. I don’t find it rewarding on the level I am looking for. For some, it’s the perfect fit, and that’s great. It’s just not for me.
Once I decided this, I was starting a new job at the local college and planned to only work out from home. I had spent so many early morning hours (for years) at the gym, getting up before 5:00 am, rushing to get it all in before work. I had all the tools I needed at home. So, I made the switch and I began to love my home workouts and the extra time it allowed in my day. I also began being more free with my portions and my food choices. Not to the point of gluttony, but I had a goal of adding about ten pounds, so allowed a little more here and there to get there. I wanted to add body fat to move more into the middle range of the body fat scale, and I would guess that at the time I was below the healthy range or right on the line. As a woman, and as a 43 year old, that wasn’t working for me any more. I don’t do Botox. 🙂 So, my goal was to gain about ten pounds. I had plenty of muscle, so would work to maintain that, but would ease up on my cardo sessions. Side note, another sign to me that I was underweight (or “underfat”) was that I had almost no breast tissue. Too much information, I know, but I think it’s worth mentioning. 😉 There is a difference between completely deflated and small. That’s all I’ll say about that, because those who need to know, will get my drift. We don’t need to work out to the point of looking like teenage boys, unless that’s your jam, but for most, that’s probably not the end goal.
After all of the changes, the new job, and some time, I began to see things changing. I was adding some weight, which for a former body shamer (toward myself) was a little scary, but also a little freeing. I also began to feel more energetic, having an easier time waking up and getting out of bed, and seeing a bit more youth in my face. Now, if you ask my husband, he would say I never looked any older than now, and he never saw anything bad about how I looked. I love him for that. And really, there was nothing “bad” about how I looked. But, most men also don’t pay attention to detail. Am I right? So, it took a 2-3 months to reach the point I was aiming for, and I don’t weigh myself as a rule (again, former obsession), but now and then I did just to chart my progress. Now I stick to the yearly doctor weigh-ins and how my clothes fit. Funny enough, most of my clothes still fit, or are just a bit too small (for my taste). After all, ten pounds at my height isn’t a huge increase.
I’m sure you’re wondering what I weigh now, what I weighed before, what I do now for exercise, and if I like how I look. Well, I have to admit that at first I worried that I would just be fat, that others would think I had gotten lazy or given up fitness, or that I would keep gaining after hitting my goal weight. None of those things happened. I did go fairly light on my workouts for a while, simply as a recovery. I spent years and years working out hard almost every day, never giving myself a true break, so I finally allowed myself that break. It felt good. I stopped hurting all over. I had more time to read and do other things. It was a nice shift. For some of you lightweights (for lack of a better term), my weight will sound high, and for some of you with thicker builds, it may sound low, but I am now about 155 pounds. I have more curves, more energy, and am just as strong. Smaller isn’t better! I have always been anti-trend, because trends are boring, but I do like to see today that women of all sizes are being represented more and the super skinny ideal is fading. I hope this continues. I find that ten extra pounds didn’t really make that much difference, so don’t be so afraid. That said, I realize gaining weight is not for everyone, and many people today already carry more weight than is healthy (let’s not base this off BMI). I’m really speaking to those women who have always been or are currently on the low end of the “healthy” range, those that fear gaining weight. Maybe I’m also speaking to those that want to be at the low end. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. With today’s extreme fitness trend (I don’t like this one), women are pushing themselves harder and harder. Again, if that’s your jam, have at it. But, I personally don’t think it’s healthy, and don’t think it’s great long term.
So, how do I train now? How did I stop gaining? Well, I now take a much more gentle approach. I work out 5-6 days per week, but my workouts are typically 20-40 minutes and include a circuit training session with my exercise bands and a short cardio session, since the circuit training also works my cardiovascular system. I don’t do hard core training ever. I use efficient workouts that are enjoyable with just enough challenge to maintain my strength and cardiovascular health. My top priority is strength training and I alternate upper and lower body days, typically using only 6-8 moves, cycled three times with no breaks, which makes the workout also a cardio session. Sometimes, I add another 10-20 minutes on a cardio machine, simply because it feels great. I also make sure and fit this into my mornings, since I don’t want to have to take family time away for my workouts. If I miss it in the morning, I just take that day off (no guilt!). I will share an example of my weekly schedule tomorrow, so please check it out. It works. It’s not extreme, it’s possibly boring for some, but it’s doable for most anyone. My other love is getting outdoors for a walk, hike, or swim. If I have the option for outdoor, I try to take it. I don’t run much these days, since I have back issues that tend to flare when I do, as well as some hip flexor sensitivities, however, I do run on rare occasions, just to make sure I’ve still got it. Honestly, my current routine keeps me in shape enough to run just fine.
After all of these changes, I feel like I look better. Again, life should not be about what we look like, but I think it’s okay to feel good about your physical body. I’m more interesting now. My daughter says I’m “thick,” and says that’s a good thing…I will take her word for it. 😉 Anyhow, I write this because I’ve wanted to for a while. I write it for my girls to know that health is more important than weight, and that fitness is great, but extreme fitness can be harmful. I also write for other people needing to hear a real take on an issue that though it’s mostly superficial and not that important, still plays a part in our mental health and self image. I say, love yourself now, be honest with yourself, tweak things as necessary, and don’t worry too much about any of it. Believe me, too much time is wasted on negative thoughts and even at the gym (yes, I’m a Certified Personal trainer saying this), and once that time is gone, it’s gone forever. Life is about balance. I’m still learning to balance all of life’s demands and it’s not easy, but I feel I’ve conquered this one. Fitness and body image no longer dominate my thoughts. I hope my story helps someone be a little easier on themselves or even frees them to change their goals. Life is more fun when you let some things go. Cheers! ♥
PS: I had my yearly checkup last week and didn’t even take my boots off for weigh-in. So daring!
Up at Five 
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